who knows

what may be hold in future..as the song goes. while i blocked all his numbers may be he would be the one who will change all his numbers.

So yeah. Really. Mathias, after all, had never trusted me. He left me when he reckoned I would need somthing from him. I am so stupid am I. But then again, we were never really together, weren’t we. Where was his heart? And where was my body.

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finally..uchan surfaced. Thought the lil’ bastard got thrown into jail or sumthing.

Had indian for late night dinner on lamma. I couldnt even bother to go hk for anything. Too tired.

Nights on lamma are nice. Tranquil. I was just sitting alone. But the first time in a while, I don’t feel lonely even I am alone. I guess it’s just better to get out of flat once in a while.

 

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i don’t know if it’s a good thing

but nobody seems to have been reading my blog.

i’m just at a point that i don’t even want to mention things around with him anymore.

 

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Great art transcends one’s soul. Lifts up the spirits. Gives you the real strength.

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numb

why did u call? u hanged up on me. you make everything SO difficult.

that 5 mins of utter loneliness. that lo-down-in-gutter feeling, can’t believe thats what a relationship can bring to people.

So quiet, so peaceful here on Lamma. Listen to summer insects chirping, reading LotR again.

It’s utterly quiet this tonight. I can’t hear anybody around at all. Lights are off around houses here, maybe nobody is around at all.

Ah- utter solitude. It’s always this cycle- I hope to see to desire company but people just let you down and sometimes you wish you had made up your mind earlier- just delve into aloneness and breathe through the solitude, rather than have the emotional turmoils. Really unecessary and makes me really unhappy.

Took a shower and smelling nice. The break is almost over. Some moments were good some weren’t. Ready for new place la.

For now let me get back to my book.

p.s. I am starting to like this island. Don’t destroy it.

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Feeling lost

and disconnected. Feeling stuck. Trapped. I want out. I want freedom. I want creativitiy.

Argh. 99% of people from craiglist just want sex or they are gay.

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I just woke up. Head hurts. Not good. Better wake up earlier tomorrow. One good thing about travelling on holidays is that it forces you wake up: to have hotel breakfasts, to do sightseeing, etc. Hmm.

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